Its like stepping into a new room. Different people, different feelings. I dont even know whether this is normal or not, losing people that I once care about at this young age. You know people dont want you in her/his life anymore when they keep pushing you away. But now I realised that its not worth to fight for. As I grow older, I decided to let things go even it kills me inside. Deep, in the inside. Because they said, "when you keep on pushing people away, you will end up to be alone." So I decided to just stand in the middle doing nothing while people around me come and go. Well its their choice.
So, I'm turning eighteen this year. Im not sure what to feel though, happy or sad. Is it good to finally be 18 years old girl or its a disaster? Please do tell me. I know that I am going to step into a new surrounding real soon. To be honest, Im kinda scared. They said this is the challenging part in your life besides married or become a parent. I pray to God each day so He would give me the strength to face all kind of problems or obtacles in my life. I have to admit that I cant wait to busy myself with classes and assignments and stuff. Damn, cant believe I said that! But hey, better than sit in the room and think about stupid little things that make me sad. Well, you can say that Im having a looooong break right now. So my routine are basically eat - watch downloaded movies and tv series - online - sleep. Unhealthy and unproductive, I know. I promise I change my routine real soon. Or maybe I eat less? lol.
Love? Lets just say that I dont want to think about it right now. Its hard to let go of past relationships actually. So, Im having a break from that too. As long as my bestfriends are around me, that is enough to make me happy. Am I hurt? Nah. Just want to have a break. Anyway, all I can do now is smile for other's happiness. I am that kind of person, if I see that someone is happy with his/her partner then Im happy too. Even strangers. Its like, I can feel the love too you know?
Maybe, thats all for now. Just remember to always be happy and smile.
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